Mean Girls

 “You have pointed out my flaws again, as if I don’t already see them.  I walk with my head down, trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress you.” 

I’ve never heard the song “Mean” by Taylor Swift, but I’ve experienced my fair share of mean girls.  

In grade school I was that awkward, self conscious, and uncertain girl whose low self confidence brought on the disease to please and made me a perfect target for their bullying and rejection.  Whether I was excluded from the lunch table in middle school or humiliated in the cafeteria on my first day of high school, the hurts were real, devastating, and slow to heal. 

This year will mark my 42nd birthday, and though my grade school days are long past, I still encounter them. Whether I’m the target of their gossip or systematically left out of the loop, mean girls are still a part of my life.  The only difference between my childhood and now? 

I’m not dealing with mean girls anymore. 

Now I’m dealing with meaner women.  

If you’re a female who bleeds and breathes, your going to relate.  You’ve felt the sting of rejection, the embarrassment of gossip, and the bitterness of jealousy. It’s behavior that we somewhat expect between little girls who don’t know any better. 

But not from grown women. 

Mean girls have been around forever, and so has the solution for dealing with them. 

Don’t be one. 

We can’t control mean girls, but we can change how we respond to them. 

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

No one demonstrates love better than Jesus. He never retaliated or shunned people.  He didn’t take the long way around Samaria like all the other Jews, and He didn’t respond to the ones who mistreated and rejected Him with likewise behavior. 

He went to the cross instead.

Fighting fire with fire produces more fire. Retaliation isn’t the answer. Love is.

If we want to stop “mean girl” behavior; if we want to stop judgment, jealousy, and gossip, we need to stop it where it starts. Hurting people hurt people, which means that we all have the capacity to take our pain out on someone else. 

Yes, we can all be mean girls. We can be wounded, needy, and frightened, and the root of mean girl behavior is the heart of a girl who doesn’t know who she is to Jesus.

I am faithful (Ephesians 1:1)

I am God’s child (John 1:12)

I have been justified (Romans 5:1)

I am Christ’s friend (John 15:15)

I belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:20)

I am a member of Christ’s Body (1 Corinthians 12:27)

I am assured all things work together for good (Romans 8:28)

I have been established, anointed and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)

I am confident that God will perfect the work He has begun in me (Philippians 1:6)

I am a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20)

I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)

I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7)

I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)

I am blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)

I am chosen before the creation of the world (Ephesians 1:4, 11)

I am holy and blameless (Ephesians 1:4)

I am adopted as his child (Ephesians 1:5)

I am given God’s glorious grace lavishly and without restriction (Ephesians 1:5,8)

I am in Him (Ephesians 1:7; 1 Corinthians 1:30)

I have redemption (Ephesians 1:8)

I am forgiven (Ephesians 1:8; Colossians 1:14)

I have purpose (Ephesians 1:9 & 3:11)

I have hope (Ephesians 1:12)

I am included (Ephesians 1:13)

I am sealed with the promised Holy Spirit(Ephesians 1:13)

I am a saint (Ephesians 1:18)

I am salt and light of the earth (Matfthew 5:13-14)

I have been chosen and God desires me to bear fruit (John 15:1,5)

I am a personal witness of Jesus Christ(Acts 1:8)

I am God’s coworker (2 Corinthians 6:1)

I am a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:17-20)

I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5)

I am raised up with Christ (Ephesians 2:6; Colossians 2:12)

I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6)

I have been shown the incomparable riches of God’s grace (Ephesians 2:7)

God has expressed His kindness to me(Ephesians 2:7)

I am God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)

I have been brought near to God through Christ’s blood (Ephesians 2:13)

I have peace (Ephesians 2:14)

I have access to the Father (Ephesians 2:18)

I am a member of God’s household(Ephesians 2:19)

I am secure (Ephesians 2:20)

I am a holy temple (Ephesians 2:21; 1 Corinthians 6:19)

I am a dwelling for the Holy Spirit(Ephesians 2:22)

I share in the promise of Christ Jesus(Ephesians 3:6)

God’s power works through me(Ephesians 3:7)

I can approach God with freedom and confidence (Ephesians 3:12)

I know there is a purpose for my sufferings (Ephesians 3:13)

I can grasp how wide, long, high and deep Christ’s love is (Ephesians 3:18)

I am completed by God (Ephesians 3:19)

I can bring glory to God (Ephesians 3:21)

I have been called (Ephesians 4:1; 2 Timothy 1:9)

I can be humble, gentle, patient and lovingly tolerant of others (Ephesians 4:2)

I can mature spiritually (Ephesians 4:15)

I can be certain of God’s truths and the lifestyle which He has called me to(Ephesians 4:17)

I can have a new attitude and a new lifestyle (Ephesians 4:21-32)

I can be kind and compassionate to others (Ephesians 4:32)

I can forgive others (Ephesians 4:32)

I am a light to others, and can exhibit goodness, righteousness and truth(Ephesians 5:8-9)

I can understand what God’s will is(Ephesians 5:17)

I can give thanks for everything(Ephesians 5:20)

I don’t have to always have my own agenda (Ephesians 5:21)

I can honor God through marriage(Ephesians 5:22-33)

I can parent my children with composure(Ephesians 6:4)

I can be strong (Ephesians 6:10)

I have God’s power (Ephesians 6:10)

I can stand firm in the day of evil(Ephesians 6:13)

I am dead to sin (Romans 1:12)

I am not alone (Hebrews 13:5)

I am growing (Colossians 2:7)

I am His disciple (John 13:15)

I am prayed for by Jesus Christ (John 17:20-23)

I am united with other believers (John 17:20-23)

I am not in want (Philippians 4:19)

I possess the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16)

I am promised eternal life (John 6:47)

I am promised a full life (John 10:10)

I am victorious (I John 5:4)

My heart and mind is protected with God’s peace (Philippians 4:7)

I am chosen and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)

I am blameless (I Corinthians 1:8)

I am set free (Romans 8:2; John 8:32)

I am crucified with Christ (Galatians 2:20)

I am a light in the world (Matthew 5:14)

I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)

I am the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21)

I am safe (I John 5:18)

I am part of God’s kingdom (Revelation 1:6)

I am healed from sin (I Peter 2:24)

I am no longer condemned (Romans 8:1, 2)

I am not helpless (Philippians 4:13)

I am overcoming (I John 4:4)

I am persevering (Philippians 3:14)

I am protected (John 10:28)

I am born again (I Peter 1:23)

I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I am delivered (Colossians 1:13)

I am redeemed from the curse of the Law(Galatians 3:13)

I am qualified to share in His inheritance(Colossians 1:12)

I am victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57)

(Scriptures were found at http://crossinglouisville.com/sermon/our-identity-in-christ/)

As believers, we now have the power of God to transform our hearts and change our behavior. We aren’t grade school girls anymore; we’re followers of Christ.  A life lived in the redeeming grace of Jesus does not produce jealousy, insecurity, pride, or gossip.  It does not produce mean girls or mean girl behavior. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23

As for that one that came to mind while you were reading this post? Pray for her. Ask God to help you love her, and stand firm in who you are in Christ.

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” 
Ephesians 4:31-32

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” 
Romans 15:7

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